Title: Explain to Me
Author: SassyInkPen
Category: Slash
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 1,836

Written for my dearest Creed Cascade on the occasion of her birthday.  "Strawberries & Wine" is a sequel to this.



"Explain to me, again, why you felt the need to lure me up here, under false pretenses, so you could shove me in cake..." Jim pressed his lips together as he scooped a wedge of frosting out from behind his ear.

Blair winced and looked seriously distressed. "Ok, there's a lot going on there, man, and I sort of have to go back to the begin-"

"Blair! " Jim growled.

A blob of cake dropped out of Blair's hair and landed on the bedspread with a quiet splat. He gave Jim a nervous grin. "It, ah...it seemed like a good idea at the time?"

Jim's eyes widened and he could feel his face start to redden. He opened his mouth to say something very pointed, but Blair got there first.

"No, look, Jim...it's not what you think. I swear it. There were no false pretenses, that's the thing. I know what it looks like and, god, I know how damn stupid I am....but, please, you've gotta believe I wasn't setting you up. Jesus, not now...not like this...."

The earnestness in Blair's voice was plain as day, and it was obvious he was telling the truth, but Jim still couldn't help himself. He narrowed his eyes. "And yet....I'm sitting in my bed, covered in what....three kinds of cake?"

"Yeah, four...actually." Blair flexed his foot and scooped a finger full of pink icing off his bare chest. He sucked it clean dejectedly.


Blair nodded. "One for each decade."

"Nice, Sandburg," Jim said surveying the mess that stretched from one end of the bed to the other. The cloying scent of sugar was giving him a headache. "That's real nice."

"Hey, you know," Blair groused. "This is not entirely my fault, man."

"Excuse me...?" Jim felt his temper flaring again, and tried to keep it in check, but the sheer frustration he was feeling, on several levels, was making it rather difficult. The constant shift of moods was too much for him to keep up with, and the utter absurdity of the situation, not to mention the work it was going to take to clean it all up, was just...beyond him in his current state.

"You weren't supposed to be home for another half hour for one thing," Blair pointed out. He flicked some white cake off the knee of his jeans. "And I really didn't expect you to be such an easy lay..."

Jim's mouth fell open in shock, and he met the challenging gleam in Blair's eyes with a threatening one of his own. "I beg your pardon!? I may not be the most perceptive guy in the world, but even I know what it means when I come home on my birthday to find the place lit with candles, and music playing, and the lone occupant is wearing his hottest clothes and opening wine. Correct me if I'm wrong, here, but were you...or were you not...planning to seduce me?"

"Yeah, of course I was," Blair answered, mashing a yellow rose into oblivion. "Up here, with the wine and the music and the candles....and the fucking cakes."

"Huh. You may not have noticed, Sandburg, but we are most definitely IN the fucking cake. Explain how this isn't setting me up?"

"You're a slut, Ellison," mused Blair, chewing on his lip. He nodded as if he'd just come to the conclusion that he totally agreed with himself.

"I'm...a..." Jim was speechless.

"See, I figured I was going to have to pull out all the stops - really work my wiles here - for you to even get a clue about what was going on. Hell, I was pretty sure I was going to have to get you drunk before I went for the really obvious moves." Blair picked up a handful of red velvet cake from the far end of the bed and squished it through his fingers. "I had no idea that you'd be all over me before we hit the stairs." He gave Jim a baleful glance and nodded towards them. "I think you tore my shirt, man."

Jim felt his face flush. "So...that was a bad thing? Because I really didn't hear you complaining."

"No! God, no, Jim," Blair said hastily, reaching out to put a hand on Jim's chest. He pulled it back instantly, realizing what he'd done, but not before leaving a white and red handprint on Jim's dark shirt. "Shit, I'm sorry...." He tried to wipe it off ineffectively.

"Leave it," Jim snapped, brushing his hand away.

Blair let his head droop, frosting soaked locks falling forward to slap against his face. When he looked up again, they stuck there and Jim felt the sudden urge to laugh. He checked it, though, at the wretched look on Blair's face.

"It wasn't a bad thing at all," Blair told him. "It was a good thing. A great thing. I mean...really fantastic..." Blair grinned in spite of himself. "So good, in fact...that I forgot all about the cakes when we were stumbling up here. You're a little distracting, man. I'm pathetic, I know..."

"No argument there, Chief," agreed Jim. He stuck a finger in some chocolate frosting and smeared it down the side of Blair's face. "Still, I'm glad to hear that this was real and not just some very elaborate practical joke."

"Man, I wouldn't do that," Blair said, looking scandalized. "I mean, yeah, I play jokes on you. But I'd never...." He fixed Jim with a sincere gaze.

Jim had to admit that Blair looked genuinely sorry, and charming, and just as sexy...even covered with birthday cake. The last of his irritation melted away. "What was the real plan?"

Blair graced him with a relieved and happy smile. "You were going to come home to the music and candles and all, only you wouldn't find me until you came up here. I'd be stretched out on the bed with the cakes all lined up and holding two glasses of wine. I figured you'd have to get the idea that we were going to celebrate in bed."

"That would be hard to miss," Jim agreed.

"After you finally got a clue, I'd feed you cake and wine, and you'd tell me how long you've been waiting for this, and we'd move the cakes....and THEN start rolling around on the bed."

Jim nodded as he pictured the intended plan of events in his mind. "Yeah...that would have been pretty sweet..."

Blair started to snicker.

Jim picked up a handful of cake and mashed it on top of Blair's head. "You know what I meant."

"Asshole!" Blair exclaimed, dodging out from under Jim's hand and giving his head a shake. Bits of cake sprayed off him. With a wicked grin, Blair pounced, trying to shove Jim to his back in the mess, but Jim was ready for him and caught him by the waist, rolling over to pin Blair beneath him. Blair yelped and tried to wriggle. The smell of rich chocolate wafted over Jim as Blair squashed the cake under his back.

"You made your bed," Jim smirked, "Now you have to lie in it." He could smell the scent of Blair's arousal mixed in with the cake and the sugar and it melted through him, sparking an answering desire of his own.

Blair looked up him with dark eyes, panting slightly. Reaching up, he slapped a handful of white icing against Jim's chest, smearing it down across his stomach. "Happy Birthday, Jim," he grinned. The mischievous sparkle was back, and the slow twist of Blair's hips stated clearly just what kind if mischief he wanted to get up to.

"Happy ain't the half of it, Chief," Jim said in a husky voice. He reached a sticky hand down to yank at the buttons of Blair's jeans, while sucking pink frosting off his roommate's neck. Blair helped out by getting his hands completely in the way and spreading more cake over everything in his excitement. This time, though, Jim just didn't care...not as long as Blair was touching him.

He tried shoving Blair's pants down at the same time that Blair was trying to get his shirt off, while both of them were kissing madly, and they ended up in a ridiculous tangle in the middle of the bed. Blair broke down laughing hysterically, which put Jim completely off his guard, and he suddenly found himself flat on his back in the saccharine mess with Blair straddling his hips and tugging on his boxers. Cake was on everything, and it was beginning to blend so that Blair looked remarkably like the painted warriors that he often pointed out in books when trying to enlighten Jim on the finer points of his latest theory.

Blair smiled and bent down to kiss him hard, tongue teasing ever so slightly. Jim could feel the sugar on his lips and taste a mix of chocolate and raspberry. Before he could get an arm around him, Blair was sitting up again, smirking. "This wasn't exactly according to plan," he said, "but you still ended up right where I wanted you..."

Scooping up a handful of white icing, and giving Jim a very indecent leer, Blair smeared it down between Jim's legs, frosting his cock like...pretty much everything else in the room. Jim moaned and rocked his hips into the smooth touch. Then Blair leaned forward again, lying down over Jim and shifting so that their erections slid together in the sugary paste.

"My god, Blair," Jim panted, "That's disgusting!"

Blair laughed and licked Jim's ear, "And you love it, don't you....."

"Hell, yeah," groaned Jim, wrapping Blair in a fierce embrace and thrusting up against him forcefully. Blair shuddered and clung to him as they both abandoned teasing and horseplay in favor of more dedicated activity. Jim closed his eyes and let go of everything but the feel of Blair's warm body and the thick friction of the frosting between them, driving him toward climax faster than he thought possible.

He was right on the edge and Blair must have been close behind, because his coordination was starting to suffer and his motions less precise. Jim rolled over on top of him and rubbed solidly against Blair's stiff cock, coming with a deep moan. Blair writhed beneath him so wildly Jim was afraid they might slip right off the bed, so he grabbed Blair's shoulders to pin him in place and finished him off with a series of long, slow thrusts. The string of obscenities that Blair wailed in his ear as he came was worth the price of a new bedspread any day.

They lay in the confectionery aftermath, catching their breath and kissing lazily. Blair let his head fall back into a pile of green and pink goo, smiling like a well sated Cheshire cat, and Jim said, "I'd ask you for a glass of that wine now, but I'm afraid of what you'd do with it...."