feels that there's just not enough wall sex in the world, so she issued
a small challenge to encourage more of the stuff. She also thought it
might make a lovely exercise to help me break through the very
frustrating four month bout of writer's block I've been having. Hence
the title. Thank you, Sara - as you can see, it worked!!
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Pet Fly does.
"Ah...Blair? Why are you staring at me like that?" Jim paused
in the careful slicing of an onion that was destined for the burgers
he'd soon be grilling.
"Because it says I do."
"What says you do?" Jim squinted at him dubiously.
"This, here," Blair pointed at the screen of his laptop. It
sat glowing on the dining table in front of him while he read. "It
says: Blair licked his lips as he stared at Jim over the top of his
laptop computer, watching those capable hands as they fixed his dinner
and wishing they were doing far more creative things."
Jim set down the knife and leaned heavily on the counter. "You lost
me, Chief. What the hell are you talking about?"
"This story I'm taking a look at." Blair pulled his glasses
off and cleaned them with the hem of his t-shirt, then put them back on
again. "Sassy's writing it. You remember her, don't you? She's the
one that sent us on that wicked road trip?"
"Oh yeah..." Jim grinned slyly, savoring the memory.
Then he scowled. "Hey, she's the one that covered us in cake, and
wrecked my sheets!"
Blair picked at the fraying edges of a hole in his jeans. "Yeah,
uh... that was all me, actually."
"Liar. Don't cover for her."
"I'm not," Blair protested. "I'm serious. She didn't have
a clue what was going on. She pretty much got the whole story about the
same time you did."
Jim resumed slicing onions in a rather pointed and violent manner, so
Blair added quickly, "She's also the one that got me all hopped up
on absinthe, and you know how that turned out..."
Blair knew he'd scored a point when Jim's slicing slowed down and he
licked his lips, trying to appear nonchalant. "So, all right,"
Jim ventured, piling onions and tomatoes on a plate as if he couldn't
care less, "what does she say you do after you stare at my capable
"It says: Blair eyed the thick slices of glistening red tomato
and fervently hoped that Jim wouldn't overcook the hamburgers again,
because it had been so long since he'd had a really good juicy one. "
"What the hell is it with her and food?!" Jim said, tossing
the knife and cutting board into the sink with an exasperated clatter.
"Those tomatoes are staying right on that damned plate, I don't
care how creative she thinks she's gonna get with them. I'm not doin'
Blair burst out laughing. "Dude, you are such an easy mark. It
doesn't say that. It doesn't say anything, that's the problem."
"What do you mean?"
"She's got writer's block. Hasn't written a thing in ages. It's
killing her, man, I really feel for her." Blair reached for the
mouse, peering at the screen. "And the sad part is, it's not even
like she doesn't have any plot bunnies, she just can't seem to do
anything with them."
Jim smirked and cracked open a beer. "Plot bunnies? What the
fuck are plot bunnies?"
"Do not mock, Jim," Blair said dangerously. "Plot bunnies
are what they call the ideas they get for all the stories they write. We
want them to have plot bunnies."
"Oh...I don't know," Jim said, tossing the salad.
"There's plenty of 'plot bunnies' I think I could have lived
"Yeah, I hear you, man. On the other hand...." Blair nodded
toward the espresso machine and ran his tongue along his top lip in a
way that made Jim want to skip dinner and go straight to the coffee and
whipped cream. "Some of them are pretty damned good, if you know
what I mean. We still owe Sara a thank you note for teaching you how to
make a proper espresso."
"Mmmhmm..." Jim hummed, eyes fixed on Blair's mouth and mind
planted firmly in the gutter. He shook it off and turned his attention
back to the task at hand. "If there's nothing more to that story,
why are you giving me the big tease here? That's pretty low, even for
Blair smirked and gave Jim a cocky grin. "Well, I thought maybe we
could help her out. Give her little boost in the inspiration department.
We have the opportunity to be someone's muses here."
"I don't know," Jim said skeptically. He took a sip of his
beer. "Would this involve gun shot wounds, you being kidnapped, or
one of us ending up pregnant?"
Blair laughed. "No. Thank god, she's never written mpreg. I think
we're safe on that score."
"She smeared cake all over my sheets."
"Okay, first of all, I seem to recall that you still had a pretty
good birthday, and second of all, that's the beauty of us taking the
lead on this one. We get to call the shots, steer the story the way we
Jim pondered that. "Yeah, okay, I see where you're goin' with this.
What did you have in mind?"
Blair smiled broadly and sat up to the computer, tapping a couple of
keys. "Well, she's been talking about this Wall Sex challenge with
a couple of her friends, and-"
"How do you know all this?" Jim asked, coming around the
corner to peer over Blair's shoulder.
"Oh it's all here, man," Blair said pulling up another tab on
his web browser. "Between LiveJournal and Yahoo Groups, we're
golden. The world is our oyster, I'm tellin' ya."
Jim raised his eyebrows and nodded approvingly. "So wall sex, huh?
What's involved in this challenge?"
"Yeah, I thought I could get you on board with this," Blair
chuckled. "This one's really informal, easy as it gets. All it has
to be is a scene that involves a wall and some sex."
"Why don't they ever have beanbag chair sex challenges?" Jim
groused, glancing up at the brick walls of the loft. "Or hot tub
sex challenges. Or how about a Jim and Blair and the Jags cheerleading
squad get stuck in the locker room without any clothes challenge?"
"Are you finished, man?" Blair said, glancing up at him.
Jim blinked. "Yeah. Wall sex. Sure, we can do that. No food,
though. Tell her no food."
"She knows, Jim."
"I'm serious," said Jim. He straightened up and raised his
voice, glancing around, "Absolutely no food stuffs of any kind
until I'm enjoying my afterglow with a thick burger and a beer, got
Blair snickered and stood up, pushing the chair in and giving his
shoulders a little stretch. "So how you wanna do this? I can't be
sure, but I have reason to believe that you're already gettin' it
against the bricks once. You want to try for one of the smoother walls
Jim nodded. "Please. Now I really wish I'd padded your bedroom
walls like I thought I should when I let you move in here."
"Funny," Blair deadpanned. "Very funny man." He
scanned the interior wall, looking for a spot against the smooth plaster
where they'd have enough room. Then he snapped his fingers. "The
shower walls! That should be plenty comfortable enough, and we can have
warm water to boot."
"I could do it in the shower," Jim nodded, taking a swig of
"Now you're talkin'," smirked Blair, grabbing Jim's hand and
pulling him toward the bathroom, beer and all. "What are we waiting
for, let's go."
Jim plodded along willingly, but said, "Hang on, aren't we supposed
to set up a scenario or something? Some reason why we both just happen
to end up in the shower at the same time?"
"We both end up in the shower so we can fuck," purred Blair,
rubbing up against Jim as he closed the bathroom door.
"Yeah, yeah, I get that," said Jim ducking his head as Blair
pulled his shirt up and off him, "but isn't there supposed to be
some kind of a plot if this is all part of a story?"
Blair shook his head. "This is strictly PWP, man."
Jim licked his lower lip. "PWP?"
"Porn Without Plot," Blair explained. "Or sometimes, just
'Plot?, What plot?'. I mean, we could just be doing this because it's
St. Fuck-In-The-Shower Day, or whatever."
"I had to ask." Jim unbuttoned his jeans, but paused to admire
Blair's ass as Blair shimmied out of his own. When the show was over, he
finished undressing. "So we're just porn now?"
"It's a Wall Sex challenge, did you think we'd be literature?"
"Well no, but 'porn' just makes it sound so...seedy."
Blair reached in to turn on the water, holding his hand under the shower
head to gauge the temperature. "It's just good old fashioned red
blooded porn, Jim. You like porn."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jim said straightening up and
finishing the last of his beer. "And it's not like we haven't
starred in our fair share of porn already."
"You can say that again," Blair said with a broad smile.
Jim came up behind Blair and butted his cock into Blair's hip, moaning
softly and running his hands over the oh so familiar body.
"So....should we see if we can put her thesaurus to the test?"
"Oh yeah," groaned Blair, pushing back against Jim's hard
body. He turned around for a kiss and they spent several long moments at
it, neither one quite willing to stop. Finally he hummed with
satisfaction and said, "So how do you want to do this?
By way of an answer Jim reached into the shower and dropped the soap
with a shit eating grin.
Blair laughed out loud, but then pointed out, "Nice, Jim, but that
doesn't really involve the wall."
"Right, right," Jim mused, sizing up the shower and his
partner in turns. "Ok, why don't we just keep it basic. You assume
the position, and I'll do my thing."
"Crude, but effective," said Blair, stepping into the tub.
"I like it."
Jim climbed in behind him as Blair braced his hands on the tile, leaning
forward a little
and shaking his ass enticingly. The warm water flowed in waves over
Blair's body making it impossible for Jim to resist touching him,
handling him competently with a sure and easy manner that Blair
responded to with uninhibited lust. "Fuck, Jim....I love your
hands," Blair moaned. "I'm ready man, let's do this...."
Jim's cock twitched as a spark of desire shot through him, and he looked
around for something to slick himself up with that wasn't going to
sting. All he saw was shampoo and soap, though, and both made him
cringe. "Dammit," he muttered. "I'll be right back."
"No wait..." Blair said, reaching up on the shelf and taking
down a bottle of lube, which he handed over his shoulder. "Here,
"Hey thanks, Chief."
"Don't thank me," Blair told him, "Thank Sassy, she's the
one who remembered that we didn't grab any on the way in here, and that
soap is a bad substitute."
"What's the matter?" Blair turned to look at him.
Jim shrugged and shook the bottle of lube. "Nothing, really, I just
feel kind of conspicuous all of the sudden."
Blair snorted. "You think you feel that way now, wait until a few
dozen of her friends are reading it."
"Is this supposed to be helping?"
"It's like that all the time, Jim, why's it getting to you
"I know, I know, I'll be fine, it's just that we don't usually talk
about it so much," Jim said. He pressed close to Blair's body,
savoring the heat that emanated from him and the pink flush that the
warm water was making across his buttocks and the small of his back.
That was all it took to get him back on track and he poured a circle of
lube into his hand, slicking up his fingers and reaching down between
Blair's legs. He knew that if he did this right, he could make Blair's
chest turn the same shade of pink.
"Holy shit," panted Blair, as Jim drove his fingers deeper and
deeper with each slow, methodical stroke. "I sure as hell know why
she had me staring at your hands to begin with..."
Jim smiled, "And is this creative enough for you?"
"Oh hell yeah." Blair arched his back and pressed his cheek to
the wet shower wall. He moaned loudly. "You need to get moving
here, or you're going to miss your turn."
"Yeah, ok, just hold on." Jim was panting too, and it took a
little more effort to operate the lube bottle this time, but he managed
it and soon his cock was sliding blissfully where his fingers had been.
It took a little maneuvering, and Jim had to kind of crouch down to get
the right angle.
"Mmm...Damn, Jim, you're good at this," Blair groaned, fingers
scrabbling at the tile as he fought to hold up against the weight of
After a few minutes, though, it was Jim who was begging off. "This
isn't gonna work," he huffed, stepping back and standing up
straight with a wince.
"Whoa, whoa, wait, what you do you mean it won't work?"
stammered Blair, turning to clutch at Jim and try to drag him back.
"It's working just fine. It's working really well in fact. Come on,
wall sex, get back with the program here."
"Have I ever told you you're really pushy when you're horny?"
"Jim. This is way beyond horny, man, this is half way there. You
can't do this to me."
"It's killing my knees Chief, I can't do it. I have an idea
though," Jim explained, steering Blair off to one side. He turned
and pressed his back to the wall of the shower, sliding down a few
inches and bracing his feet on the far side of the tub. "Come and
stand between my legs."
Blair looked a little confused, but stepped into the space Jim made.
"Yeah, ok, now what?"
Jim spun him around so he was facing away. "Sit down."
"Sit d-?...Ohhh....." Blair grinned and pressed himself
back against Jim's body, allowing Jim to guide him down onto his cock.
"This is....wow, this is good, Jim. You are a very very good
"All I have to do now is lean here and let you put all that
unnatural energy to good use." Jim moaned and ran his hands up
Blair's sides and down his back. In this position, he found that he had
easy access to just about any part of Blair's body and he took full
advantage of it.
Blair bounced wantonly on Jim's cock, making an obscene amount of noise,
and it wasn't long before Jim could tell he was right on the edge. He
reached around and fondled Blair's cock lightly. The longer he could
keep Blair riding the edge, the closer he got there himself.
"Are you gonna come for me and Sassy, Chief?" he said in a low
voice, wrapping his other arm around Blair's chest and holding him
"Yes....." moaned Blair, letting his head fall back onto Jim's
"Gonna come for all those devoted readers out there?"
"You know," Jim said, his breath growing ragged as he neared
his climax. "What with us being muses for Sassy, and helping her
write the story at the same time that we're in the story...that
would mean we're also fucking up against the fourth wall. That's
gotta score points in the challenge, eh?"
"Ohmygod! " Blair wailed and started bucking and
writhing uncontrollably in Jim's arms, coming hard, muttering
Jim let go his hold on his senses and rode it out, letting Blair's
crazed fucking pull him over, so that he was coming right on the tails
of Blair's climax. "Jesus, Blair...." he groaned, "I'm
gonna start making more literary references in bed if this is what it
does to you...."
Blair sagged bonelessly against Jim and panted, "No shit, man. That
was wild. I really dig the combo of primitive sex animal and brainiac
you had going there."
Standing on somewhat shaky legs, they alternated necking with rinsing
off, and then with scrubbing each other down with large soft towels.
After that, they went out into the living room... where Jim cooked
HUGE perfect hamburgers, that were hot and juicy, with crisp slices of
tomato and onion. The beers were ice cold, and they were pleased to
discover an unannounced pre-season Jags exhibition game just starting on
"Oh, that's nice," said Jim, reading over Blair's shoulder.
"I guess she approves of our abilities as muses." He took a
large bite of his burger.
Blair swallowed a mouthful and took a swig of beer. "Sure looks
that way," he said. "And you know, these burgers really are
Jim grinned. "Shut it down and let's go see if that thing about the
Jags is true."